tues nights wed morning

Explain to me, this conspiracy against me.
And tell me how, I’ve lost my power…

I don’t want to hold power over you,
I want to hold it with you, in our hands.
I don’t to lie to you,
I want to lay with you in our bed.
I don’t want to cheat,
I want to cheat you holding your hands above your head.
I don’t want to smell your sweetness,
I want to be engulfed in it forever.
I don’t want to look at you,
I want live in the way you look.
I don’t want to touch you,
I want to embrace your every move.
I don’t want to hear you,
I want to listen to you as my song.
I don’t want to like you,
I want to love you right here where you belong.

I may not be perfect, and I never plan on you being so. But, I love all you faults, your perks. Cause its heaven to me, you know? When your eyes are looking deeper, and your hands finding untouched skin. Its you I’m in love with.

I admit.

You win <3

together again

I could never express the love i had for you when you were here, but i will now because just the same when you were here, i know you watching over my shoulder.

There is probably no other person who made my heart glow and makes me, well, so proud to be me.

I’ll always remember what you said about me, how it wasn’t me you liked, it was who i surrounded my self with. It was those people who made me look bad, not me. You said i was a diamond in the rough.

Your words always made me smile, you always gave me a place to stay. You always let me come inside and be home. You were, are my momma. I’ll always love you. There wont be a day in this where this will be easy. There wont be a day were we aren’t going to miss you..

 

i hope angles take you in.

with a heart like yours, everyone had a place.

i know your safe, you know your loved.

 

i know angles will take you in..

sleep tonight

Can you see the spy’s we have? The ones who have been watching us steal kisses? The ones who tell secrets and lies to get back to us? Someone isn’t happy with us. Someone doesn’t want you here. Well, personally, I DONT FUCKING CARE.

There are all these things that i have told you, and i have told you what i believe. I want you right here, and i hope you stay here with me. Plenty of people fall right where we are, and do what most everyone else does. But ill be here with you, just as long as you don’t care, cause, I want you, i like you, i think what you got is value. You say things, that make me crazy. But i’ll tell you, “oh , baby.  stay tonight, right by my side, cause when its morning ill take care of you. in no time.”

What we do, may happen a lot between people, but i like you. You make me smile, i’m never mad. You say sweet things, never sad. You do a lot that has got me hooked. I just hope i’ve got you, no questions, no funny looks.

 

 

youre a mess my dear

Conflicting words, arguments, feelings. I’m holding my head, I’m begging, screaming Bloody fucking murder. you beat yourself up for me, you do it better then I could hurt myself. The way you move is like magic. But you leave me so sore. I’m telling you, this can’t happen, I’m telling you its not true. I want to pick your heart up off the floor, as we examine both of ours lying together. We have been in this spot I only thought for hours, its been months, let alone days…I’ve come to this point were we watch them beating, sitting on our feet, head close together,will this be our last feat? our skulls touch, the same time our hearts skip a beat and re-wire to beat in unison. I look up to see your blue eyes for once look right through me. I fall on my feet, I fall away, my heart.. I’m unable to tell, to speak to feel. Like my heart, I’ve fallen on the floor. In a puddle of my own blood. Gasping for air, forcing tears to stay at bay, to put my energy where it belongs… My heart is so far away… And you’re no longer with it.. My eyes look back up again still unable to move any part. i see you over me, looking down, I can’t tell you the emotion I see. I cannot name it. I run through my thoughts. There are two choices he can give himself, will smirk and leave me hear as I am, bleeding to how I gave everything? Or will he, for some reason, pick me up carry me home, the safe place that I’ve known? Because I turn to look again he has my heart in hand…….

Conflicting words, arguments, feelings. I’m holding my head, I’m begging, screaming Bloody fucking murder. you beat yourself up for me, you do it better then I could hurt myself. The way you move is like magic. But you leave me so sore. I’m telling you, this can’t happen, I’m telling you its not true. I want to pick your heart up off the floor, as we examine both of ours lying together. We have been in this spot I only thought for hours, its been months, let alone days…I’ve come to this point were we watch them beating, sitting on our feet, head close together,will this be our last feat? our skulls touch, the same time our hearts skip a beat and re-wire to beat in unison. I look up to see your blue eyes for once look right through me. I fall on my feet, I fall away, my heart.. I’m unable to tell, to speak to feel. Like my heart, I’ve fallen on the floor. In a puddle of my own blood. Gasping for air, forcing tears to stay at bay, to put my energy where it belongs… My heart is so far away… And you’re no longer with it.. My eyes look back up again still unable to move any part. i see you over me, looking down, I can’t tell you the emotion I see. I cannot name it. I run through my thoughts. There are two choices he can give himself, will smirk and leave me hear as I am, bleeding to how I gave everything? Or will he, for some reason, pick me up carry me home, the safe place that I’ve known? Because I turn to look again he has my heart in hand…….

so whats the answer

I’m not going to tell you the truth. I promise to lie to you completely. That I truly never loved you. And truly you didn’t mean a thing. Truly my mind isn’t a black sludge of a whole and I am not screaming constantly. I am fine, normal even. That human bodies are and not attractive to me may be the strangest idea to this mind. I am sane in thought. The words I write and things I draw are normal and not twisted. The things I say or do and think are completely understandable. Even repeatedly used by others? Sure. There aren’t many things I could tell you that you wouldn’t already know. But I’m going to lie to you, I’m not going to tell you the truth…

shittalker

Stolen words into a vocabulary twist. Rock bottom is something I never miss. I hit my goal every time with no effort , its where I belong. Alone at the bottom. Because ill lift them up before they know what’s coming. my dreams consist of things that make you want to hide crazy thoughts, don’t leave me to sleep alone at night. Where I stand and where I stand and where you are, are so far apart, a fragment in time where at least we, no, you stand still. I die to make you move, to feel, I yell I scream, can you hear me? But now I know I’m wrong… I wasn’t moving at all. But have stayed still this whole time, and you can read my mind at all. I’m making silly wishes, I’m screaming silly songs. I want you to hear me, but I’m finding out I’m all wrong. There is no movement allowed, to there nothing involved… We tried our best, we tried all in all… We did try our best but we chose to fall. I may not like how I feel, I may not like that this is real, but ill keep this exactly in my dreams, Ill keep this, not even between you and me. But I’m dreaming, hoping good things, I’m dreaming that one day you’ll rescue me…